Where Nurturing an infant transcends boundaries

Hello everyone! It has been busy for me the past few weeks. Hence, I was absent here for a bit. But now I am back and I have a juicy scoop to tell you.

I cannot recall the exact time and date of the "Ruffa and Ai" show I saw on TV where they talked about breastfeeding by mothers to their babies. Surely, I was just watching and listening like any normal human being that day. Suddenly I was shocked when the instructor or the guest breastfeeding expert in the show, explained the possibility of men breastfeeding to their little babies! That was what that got me hooked to the show then.

It was discussed in the session that the capacity of a human to nurture and take care of his offspring does not limit itself through the boundaries of sexual orientation. It means simply, that not only women can breastfeed their young, but men too! "It is all in the mind," as what the speaker on the show said. Our bodies are composed of hormones- lots of 'em. We have the tendency to be a bit on the masculine side or on the feminine side. This innate characteristic plays a vital role in nurturing our own kind. And also, the capacity to love one another or take care of someone is always there in us. The lady talked also about breastfeeding as an enjoyable and painless activity. If ever there is pain that a woman feels, then she is not properly attuned to nurturing her child. These "act of caring" can be properly performed and improved through undergoing a relaxing massage and meditation.

If you will it, then it will come. I am talking about the milk from a woman's and/or man's breast. Whew! I am still baffled by this latest research findings just like you. But nevertheless this never stopped fascinating me. Even a virgin can even lactate and offer milk to the baby from her own breasts. The speaker on the show said, that the possibilities are endless. That we are given a gift from God to nurture and care for our children. Hence, this is just one of the numerous gifts we got from Up Above.

Let me share to you an excerpt of an article I found while researching online. Although this is more focused on homosexuality, it's essence is still very obvious. Here it is:

Feminist author Fiona Giles, author of Fresh Milk: The Secret Life of Breasts, claims that there are "obvious benefits" to male breastfeeding. While men have the biological ability to produce milk, she says, the time and effort necessary to induce lactation might be out of proportion to the miniscule amounts of milk actually produced--but for a gay man to hold a baby to his breast "would be extremely beneficial to both the parent and child."
Lactation consultant Susan Leisner of Buffalo, New York, on the other hand, points out that there are many more effective ways of establishing a deep and close bond between a male parent of any sexual orientation and the child--such as singing, rocking, skin-to-skin contact, and talking to the baby with the parent's face in close proximity to the baby's. "If a man came to me and asked me to help him lactate, I would refuse," Leisner declared.
Laura Shanley, author of the book Unassisted Childbirth, says in the article that she is aware of a few gay men who have breastfed their babies. But, Shanley says, it is difficult for these adoptive fathers to come forward and speak of their experience out of fear of losing their children.
All of the sources cited in the And Baby article, however, point out the biological hurdles of inducing male lactation, as well as the social stigma attached to the idea of men breastfeeding their children.
Commenting on the article, NARTH's Joseph Nicolosi said, "Indeed, the 'social stigma' attached to male breastfeeding isn't something we need to break down, because a gay man imitating a woman by nursing a baby is an affront to human dignity. We were not created to masquerade as the opposite sex--and no man can truly 'mother' a baby."

Source: http://www.narth.com/docs/brfeed.html

http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/MaleBreastfeeding.jpg

The Energy Within Us

If you are thinking that laying on of hands does not do anything good to someone, then you might want to think again. Over the years, we have been studying about unseen forces in our environment or especially in our own bodies.

Scholars say that during the medieval times; when the only light being used is through the candles; we can see intangible colors of light glowing and enveloping our bodies. We call these as "auras". They come in shades of red, green, blue or white as examples. As they say, a person's aura appears gray when he is sick or yellow or something bright when he is confident or healthy. Thus many believe that these unseen forces are what we call "life force."

Today we are going to talk about a practice to manipulate this life force in such a way that it contributes to healing and feelings of wellness. The practice is a form of stress reduction technique which is called "Reiki". This word originated from Japan in which Rei means "God's wisdom or the Higher Power" and Ki is "life force energy." Hence, Reiki means in the actual sense as a "spiritually guided life force." Dr. Mikao Usui founded the Reiki system of natural healing. He recommended that one practice simple ethical principles of peace and harmony which is true to the whole world. Its use is not dependent on one's intellectual capacity or spiritual development and therefore is available to everyone. It has been successfully taught to thousands of people of all ages and backgrounds.

This practice is simple to learn and is a safe, natural method of spiritual healing and self-improvement that everyone can use. It has been effective treating virtually every known illness and even offer beneficial effects and promote recovery. Reiki can also be an adjunct alternative therapy to other medical techniques.

A treatment feels like a wonderful glowing radiance that flows through and around you. Reiki treats the whole person including body, emotions, mind and spirit creating many beneficial effects that include relaxation and feelings of peace, security and well-being. Many have reported miraculous results.

In a Reiki class, the ability to use the craft is not taught in the usual sense, but rather, it is transferred to the student by his Reiki master through the "attunement" ritual. By this, the student can tap into an endless supply of "life force energy" and enhance his health and quality of life.

Source:

http://www.reiki.org/faq/WhatIsReiki.html

The Widespread "Abdominal Obesity" Dilemma

Fat, chubby, or a little bit of everything, a bit flabby, or maybe a bit too much. These are descriptions or expressions that we refer to a person who is fat or overweight. But the more alarming issue is when someone goes beyond the overweight status and be called "obese".

The more prominent type of obesity is central obesity or abdominal obesity.

"Nearly four out of ten people will become obese within 5 years if they keep packing on pounds at the current rate. 31% or about 59 million people are obese, which is defined roughly over 30 or more pounds over a healthy weight. Almost 65% are either obese or overweight, 10 to 30 pounds over a healthy weight, which increases their chances of developing diabetes, heart disease, some types of cancer and a host of other health problems." as stated by Anne Collins.

"Abdominal obesity" is defined as the accumulation of visceral fat which contributes to the increase in waist size. Visceral fat means the fat tissues found deeper in the peritoneal cavity where the internal organs are located such as the small and large intestines, and the kidneys as examples. They are different from the muscular fat that is located between the muscles. Breaking down these layers and layers of adipose tissue will take days and months of exercise and proper diet.

There is no exact confirmed cause of the obesity factor but experts say that this is due to a net energy imbalance where in the person consumes more calories than he can use, or discard through voiding or elimination. Others attribute it to heredity or genetic factors. There is also the evidence of overeating while having a sedentary lifestyle. A victim of Cushing's syndrome is also a target of obesity.

Health Dangers:

- greatly increases the risks of heart disease

-hypertension

-insulin resistance

-contributes to acquiring diabetes mellitus type 2

-symptoms of metabolic syndrome

-lipodystrophies

-obesity inherited through the use of protease inhibitors,an anti AIDS drug

-dyslipidemia

-glucose intolerance

-Cushing's syndrome common in women with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)

The Relationship between Abdominal obesity and Diabetes:

According to research, the adipokines, a group of hormones secreted by the adipose/fat tissues, is said to impair the absorption of sugar thus it renders the glucose useless, and causes the glucose to remain in the bloodstream.

How to Know if you are obese?

There is a formula that we call waist-hip ratio. It is the waist's circumference divided by 0.9 in men and 0.85 in women. The result is your BMI (body mass index) or simply saying, the ratio of weight over the height. Although it does not measure directly the percentage of body fat, it is a useful tool in determining proportionate weight and height or any abnormalities like being overweight. If you fall under 35, then you are prone to obesity or are already obese. Optimal BMI range is 20-25. Females, during their puberty stage, their fat cells are evenly distributed in the buttocks, thighs, and hips. This distribution is strongly influenced by the hormone estrogen. When they reach the point of menopause, the estrogen levels decline until the ovaries stop secreting the hormone. Because of this event, the fat tissues then go to the waist which later on, settles in the belly and contributes to abdominal obesity.

Prevention and Treatment options?

There is a medication named thiazolidinediones which, although has a weight gaining side effect, the pathological development of abdominal fat is significantly reduced. Doctors also prescribe Orlistat or more popularly known in our country as Xenical. This drug binds with the fat cells and helps to eliminate it through elimination. For severe cases of abdominal obesity, people resort to surgery such as Bariatric surgery and or liposuction.

But one of the preventions, which I believe, is proper diet, no overeating, and doing regular exercise. You can tailor your own exercise needs and even best to consult a dietitian or nutritionist for that matter. So that's it, I have shown to you a glimpse of this alarming truth.

Help me inform everyone about this article so that we can stop the deadly abdominal obesity. Have a peaceful and a healthy day ahead!

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/abdominal_obesity

http://www.annecollins.com/weight_health/obesity-rate.htm

http://plasticsurgery.about.com/od/beforeafter/ig/Liposuction-Before---After-.--02/Liposuction-Photo-3.htm

Vegetarianism: Its Health Benefits and Concerns

I am featuring this article because a good friend of mine asked me if I can write a post with regards to a diet that she is following. She told me she had been a vegetarian for 9 years.

To my good friend Cham, here is your diet...

A diet based on eating plant-based foods such as fruits, vegetables, nuts, cereal grains, seeds, and with or without milk products and eggs. This is Vegetarianism. Although many of the vegans ( people who are vegetarians) do not eat fish, shellfish, shrimps, lobsters, and other products like pork and beef, some do eat eggs and dairy products coupled with honey. Most vegans eat eggs and consume dairy products. Lacto-vegetarianism includes milk but not eggs, while ovo-vegetarianism includes eggs but not dairy. There is also another type of vegetarianism wherein the person eats both eggs and milk products.

Vegetarianism does not only include eating any fruits, veggies, and other plant products as long as it's not meat. Including a wide array of foods and having enough calories to produce energy, are very essential.

Factors include such as:

1. Keeping your intake of fatty foods and sweets to a minimum. These are rich in empty calories.

2. Choose whole wheat or unrefined grains if possible. You can also use fortified cereal products.

3. If you drink milk products, choose those fat-free/nonfat, or low fat varieties.

4. Consume a variety of fruits and vegetables especially those ones rich in vitamins A and C.

5. Eggs are high in cholesterol (213 mg per yolk), so eat in moderation. Limit your egg consumption to no more than 300 mg per day.

Many people are vegetarians because of several reasons. One is for economic reasons like meat is costly in some countries, another is for ethical issues like being advocates to animal rights, and some for health reasons. So what are the reported health benefits of Vegetarianism?

The Benefits:

• It lowers risks of cancer, ischaemic heart disease
• Reduces risks of heart diseases, & osteoporosis
• Lowers saturated fat, cholesterol, and animal protein
• High in fibre, magnesium, potassium, folate, antioxidants
• Decreases blood pressure, lowers risks of acquiring type 2 diabetes, decreases risks of renal diseases, dementia, and Alzheimer's disease

Now what are the concerns then?

Before deciding to become a vegetarian yourself, it is recommended that you consult a registered dietitian first in order he/she can design a personalized diet for you that are rich in essential nutrients and vitamins. The diet must be balanced and equipped with the right portion of nutrients and essential minerals especially for those teenagers who are in their growing-up years. It is always better to think first, and research before deciding to practice Vegetarianism.

Sources:

http://kidshealth.org/teen/food_fitness/nutrition/vegetarian.html

http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4777

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vegetarian_diet

Yoga Basics

Most of us will agree that the term Yoga will steer some ideas in our mind. But do we really know what is the meaning or essence of practicing Yoga?

In this article, we will tackle the origins of Yoga and how it is being practiced. Even so, is Yoga a religion?

The secret of yoga lies in a simple term: balance. Yoga is also regarded as a way of life, and in our lives, balanced moderation is essential. There are no exact definite accounts as to when Yoga practice started, but it is thought to be at least 5, ooo years old. The earliest evidence of practice can be traced back to 3,000 BC. Yoga came from the Sanskrit language and means to join, merge or unite.

Others also regard Yoga as a form of practical science because it can work for you and be applied in so many different ways that you are comfortable doing. Because of the many positions and the rhythmic breathing exercises involved, this practice is one of the several fitness routines geared towards losing and or maintaining weight, and balancing the energies in our body. In Yoga, we can be able to let go of our fears, inhibitions, and grow in ourselves- love, understanding, communicate properly, and develop a higher state of awareness.

In western parts of the world, Yoga is being practiced with the focus on the physical aspect. It is called Hatha yoga. Hatha is comprised of two words. Ha means the sun, and Tha means the moon. They are both joined together. Yoga is the union between them, suggesting that the healthy joining of opposites - in this case, the mind and body - leads to strength, vitality and peace of mind.

Yoga approaches our being as a whole- in body, in spirit, and in mind. It is a natural path to having qualities like discipline, intuitiveness, fitness, confidence, intelligence, and awareness. Practicing Yoga will help one to slowly become more grounded and satisfied with what he has.

Now going back to the question as to whether Yoga is a religion. Yoga is an independent tradition, even though it is closely associated with Hinduism. The practice does not conform with the traditional definitions of a religion. Rather it combines the physical, and psychological disciplines. What is embodied in Yoga, is the practice of non-violence, chastity, truthfulness, generosity, and non-stealing. It also involves purity, contentment, self study, self discipline, and focusing on the Divine.

Sources:

http://www.rivermaya.com/

http://www.yogaforbeginners.com/

http://www.healthspablog.org/

Does "Crystal Healing" Really Works?

Do you believe me that when we talk about being healthy, we not only mean about the physical aspect but also the emotional, psychological and the spiritual aspects? If so, then health correlates with wellness as well. And, this health-wellness state can be achieved in so many different ways.

And one of the countless ways people seek wellness, is through "Crystal Healing". This form of healing dates back to as far as the times before Christ was born. Its original roots were unknown but there were close accounts that it came from those of the ancient pagans and Wiccans or nature worshippers of Europe and even in parts of India and China. Indians in Canada and in the Americas also practice this form of therapy.

Crystal Healing simply means a form of alternative therapy that uses crystals or gemstones. The crystals are placed in strategic places on the body in which we call as the chakras. These chakras is derived from the Hindu term which means spiritual energies. According to the teachings there are seven chakras in our body.

Here are the following:

1. Base or Root chakra (last bone in the spinal cord, coccyx)
2. Sacral chakra (ovaries/prostate)
3. Solar plexus chakra (navel area)
4. Heart chakra (heart area)
5. Throat chakra (throat and neck area)
6. Brow or Third eye chakra (pineal gland or third eye)
7. Crown chakra (Top of the head, 'soft spot' of a newborn)

These spiritual energy centers have different colors associated with it. Red relates with the root chakra, orange with the sacral chakra, yellow with the Solar plexus chakra, green with the heart chakra, blue with throat chakra, indigo or purple with the third eye chakra, and white connects with the crown chakra. Some crystal healers place same color crystals to the chakras on the client's body to enhance energy flow. These crystals are said to balance the flow of energies in our body. It is also believed that negative energies are channeled out from the body, which are believed to cause a disease, and to enable the positive energies to enter into the body thereby relieving physical ailments.

Although there is no scientific explanation and proof that Crystal healing works, numerous personal testimonies of people healed are very widespread over the world. They stated that they have been feeling better after such therapy session. In some parts of the World, professional nurses and doctors are even trained to do this kind of alternative therapy. The crystals/gemstones are said to have vibration frequencies that are present according to the stones' shapes, interconnecting the earth's and the person's energy field. In crystal healing, the crystal is said to strengthen or realign the distorted human 'psychic' or cosmic energy by directing vibrations to the body.

Crystal Healing must not be relied upon as the only form of therapy. Prescribed medications and other treatments must not be disregarded just because one is feeling better after a Crystal Healing therapy session. We must always remember that these are just one of several treatment options that we can use. Behind these energies and crystals, is the ultimate Source of every living and nonliving thing in this world. Faith in God, Allah, or the Higher Being is still very significant.

References:
1. http://www.allabouttheoccult.org/crystal-healing.htm
2. http://www.journeyinpro.com/blog_images/chakras.jpg
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chakra

A Few of My "Anti-Aging" Tips

Everyone of us is searching for the “fountain of youth”, the everlasting drink from the eternal water. We want to defy aging. Thus we keep on looking for the eureka best anti-aging product in the planet. But you know, there are really simple and natural tips on how to look and feel younger. There are some basic tips for anti-aging. These cannot only help you to be young, but can also shield you against a variety of age-related diseases and complications.

Exercise

This is one of the most important things you can do for your health. Keeping your body in good shape helps to prevent many diseases and disabilities and may also significantly slow down the aging process. Exercise strengthens the heart muscle, lowers the blood pressure, and helps to maintain weight. Not only that it strengthens your bones and reduces the chances of getting osteoporosis. It also builds endurance, flexibility and boosts your metabolism.There are many simple and effective workouts like walking, jogging, biking, and even dancing. Effective strength training can be accomplished by using light weights a few times a week.

Natural Skin Care

Though there are countless skin care products today, most of them are not necessary to maintaining youthful skin. Regular cleansing, exfoliating, and moisturizing are all important for keeping your skin in good shape without resorting to extreme treatments such as Botox surgery or injections. There are many natural products available, and natural ingredients, which are beneficial to the skin, such as honey, oatmeal, lemon juice, and almond oil, which can be used in homemade treatments.
Other helpful anti-aging tips for the skin are the following:
- Avoid excessive use of cosmetics, as many of them can contain potentially dangerous chemicals. Wearing too much makeup can also clog pores and stops the skin from breathing.
- Drinking eight to ten glasses of water a day. Hydrated cells are plump and healthy.
- Take cool showers as too much heat can damage the skin.
- diet rich in fruits and vegetables that contain many natural antioxidants.

Diet

The best anti-aging diet is one that is high in antioxidants and low in sugars, fats, and artificial ingredients or other additives. One popular method is a restricted calorie diet, where caloric intake is limited in order to slow down aging. The only hurdle in this kind of diet is maintaining sufficient intake of other nutrients at the same time.

Oral Supplements

One of the best tips for anti-aging is to use vitamin/mineral supplement. The vast majority of Americans are not able to get the nutrients they need to go through their diet alone. Taking supplements cannot replace a bad diet, but it can provide a valuable boost.

Antioxidants

Antioxidants are nutrients, which protect your cells under oxidation. This causes the cells to become old. Since the deterioration of cells is responsible for many of the effects of aging, antioxidants are especially important as an anti-aging treatment. Some of the best nutritional antioxidants are Vitamins C, E, beta-carotene, alpha-carotene, selenium, Coenzyme Q10, and flavonoids. These are found in many anti-aging nutritional products of vitamin supplements.

De-stressing

Your emotional health can also have a large effect on your physical condition. Too much unhealthy stress can lead to a number of problems, including unstable emotions, exhaustion, inability to concentrate, lack of sleep, digestive problems, stiff muscles, headaches, allergy or asthma attack, frequent colds, infections, and skin problems. These are many things you can do to relax. Talking to someone and having the support of family and friends can also help you to reduce stress and maintain a positive attitude.

Active Lifestyle

Staying active is very important for maintaining good health and keeping up energy. A sedentary lifestyle can lead to many health problems like heart disease. Doctors recommend an average of 60 minutes of physical activity a day, which can include running on the treadmill to simply doing house chores, can do wonders already.

Laughing

Part of being healthy is having a positive outlook on life. Keeping humor in your life is an easy- and funny way to fight aging. Laughter can keep your body more open to healing. Research shows that laughter can lower blood pressure and relieve fear in uncertain situations.

Resorting to Herbs

Herbs are one of the most popular forms of alternative therapy today. Many types of herbs have been found t0 have many anti-aging benefits. Popular anti-aging herbs include ginseng, ginkgo, and grape seed extract. They should always be used with extreme care, as many can cause negative side effects when used incorrectly or when mixed with other medications.

Chocolate

One of the best anti-aging secrets is chocolate as this can actually be good for you. Studies have shown that cocoa may help to lower your blood pressure, as well as help in keeping your body flowing and your heart healthy. Chocolate also contains large amounts of flavonoids, plant compounds that prevent blood clots. Chocolate also promotes the secretion of endorphins, which make us feel good, and contains serotonin, which actsw as an anti-depressant.

Why is Caviar considered as one of the most luxurious entree of the Rich and Famous

This type of food has always baffled me of why you will have to pay such a significant amount of money, when you want to eat this course. This prompted me to write such article, because of President Arroyo's recent brush with the media and the prying eyes of the public, due to her lavish dinner at a first class french restaurant "Le Cerque" in NYC of which one of the meals served was caviar, and the total meal price was reportedly more or less $20, 000.
But enough of politics...
Let us go deeper into the rich history of caviar. Caviar has its Italian roots but eventually is derived from the Persian word "khaya"which simply means ''egg". Persians also call it the "cake of power" to which they eat it in stick form in the form of elixir. This then influenced the major parts of Europe such as Russia, Scandinavia, Italy, France, and even Spain. According to Wikipedia, the harvest and sale of black caviar has been banned since August 1, 2007 in Russia, and has been extended for up to 10 years, but the scientific research and artificial breeding on the black sturgeon are exempted. This may be due to the inhuman practices involved in the harvesting of ovaries from the female caviar fish which involves stunning the fish at its head and then collecting the ovaries by C-section and then sewing it to keep the poor creature alive.
In Norway, Denmark, and Sweden, caviar is sold much cheaper which is made out of mashed and smoked cod roe and used as a sandwich filling. In France, they call it "Caviar de Lysekil" or creamed smoke roe to which Lysekil originated from the name of a Swedish coastal town to where this type of caviar may have originated. There is also the Danish small lumpsucker caviar to which it is sold in small glass bottles. Other red-colored varieties can also be found. Other expensive sturgeon alternative caviar also came from a vendace, a common whitefish found in parts of Finland, Sweden, and Russia.
In Spain, caviar farms are established in the outskirts and in the mountainous regions. Caviar is one of the many favorites of the Royals and noblemen. It is never absent during weddings, feasts, and other special occasions. In this modern technological era, caviar is collected from fish without invasive procedures, a process called "striping". Caviar is rich in vitamin A, vitamin B12, lutein, iron, selenium and other essential nutrients. A word of caution to those people who constantly watch their blood pressures, this meal is also rich in LDL (low density lipoprotein) or the bad type of cholesterol. So eating in moderation is always a plus!

References:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/caviar

Five Easy Toning Exercises you can Do Anywhere

Exercise is an important part of our lives. Staying in shape is one way to increase your life expectancy. Weight bearing exercises are important also for increasing muscle mass and bone density as you age.

Most of us have learned what to do when it comes to exercising. The problem is where and when to get the job done. With a busy lifestyle, making time for exercise is a challenge.

Weight bearing exercises aren’t just for bodybuilders. As you age, especially once you hit the age of forty, you begin to lose muscle mass. For women especially, bone loss becomes a problem. When the body is in need of calcium it can rob it from your bones. Building muscle not only increases their mass but your strength.

Here are five easy toning exercises that can be done anywhere and whenever you have time. At home, at the office, or on vacation, you can do these easy yet extremely effective exercises.


1. The Bridge Butt Lift – Sounds like a plastic surgery technique but it is an easy way to tone your buttocks. Lay down with feet flat on the floor, legs shoulder width apart. Place your hands, palm side down, on either side of your body. Pushing with your feet, squeeze your gluteal muscles and lift your butt off the floor. Hold the position for a count of five to ten and release down to the floor.

2. Squats – Squats work the butt, the hamstring muscles and the quadriceps. If you aren’t sure of proper form, you can use a chair. Stand with feet shoulder width apart and feet firmly planted. Push your butt back as if you were preparing to sit in a chair. Keep your abs tight and your upper body straight. Once you reach chair level stop and hold the position for a count of two to five and release. At the lowest point, place all of your weight on your heels for balance and maximum toning.

3. Reverse Lunges – Lunges work the quadriceps muscles. They can be hard for people with knee problems. A reverse lunge still tones the right muscle groups but with less pressure on the knee. Stand with feet together and arms at your sides. Take one leg and move it backwards until you are in lunge position: front leg bent at a 90 degree angle and back leg extended until you are on the ball of your foot. From this position lower yourself down until the back knee almost touches the floor. Hold for a count of two and return to starting position.

4. Pushups – This is a classic toning exercise that works all areas of the arms plus the chest muscles. If you aren’t comfortable or strong enough to perform a pushup on your toes, lower your body to your knees. Be sure your arms are tucked into the body and your back straight as you lower and lift your body.

5. Crunches – Abdominal muscles can be worked every day to build strength and muscle tone. Lying on the floor in sit up position, lace your fingers behind your head. Squeezing your abdominal muscles, lift your upper body until your lower back is about to come off the floor. Hold for two to five counts and return to starting position.

These five exercise moves can be done whenever you have time. The best thing about exercise is that its effects are cumulative. Even five or ten minutes at a time will work to your advantage.